Planning for the Future with Your Teen after the Pandemic

Planning for the Future with Your Teen

Alimental Life • April 3, 2022

Do you remember what it was like to be a Junior or Senior in high school? While we all have our own experiences, many of us in the baby boomers, gen x and millennials were told, we could be anything. All we have to do is work hard, show up, and stick to a path. Go to school, get good grades so you can go to college, get a good job. This job would afford you the financial freedom to find a partner, get married, establish a household and support a family. Before the computer era, our parents worked hard, physically. The dream was to find a job where you could sit at a desk, in doors, temperature controlled. An environment that kept you out of the sun, that allowed for self-care and a nine to five that would allow you to be home with your family. As opposed to the 12-hour days on the farm or 10-hour days in the factory.

With the invention of the computer and the shift toward everything becoming digital. We've lost the balance our parents and grandparents yearned for us to have. The digital age has taken over full force and the majority of us have become slaves to our computers and devices. While the physical toll isn't the same as it was on our parents. Sedentary lives are still detrimental to our health in other new ways we never imagined.

Now fast forward to the pandemic. Everyone one moving their offices into their homes, working remotely and the boundaries of nine to five have seemed to blur. Children being picked up from school, only to feel isolated in their own home, as mom and dad work from home. Watching their parents physically struggle with immobility and obesity that the sedentary lives have created. Parents feeling the pressure of paying bills for the house and things their jobs have provided, being slaves to the college debt that they are still paying off 20 years after they have graduated… all for what? To have things, and debt that pull you away from your relationships? To have a job that is more important than your own health?

As we embark on 2022, two years post the start of the pandemic, the world has drastically changed. The impact of the pandemic on adults and small children is rather clear. However, the impact this pandemic has had on our teens/young adults has been rather silent.

Now, imagine being a teen at the start of the pandemic. It's your Junior or Senior year of high school - the world has just opened up to you, and the pandemic hits. All social ties have been severed at a time when you're supposed to be navigating relationships and conflicts. Imagine the most challenging subjects you experienced in high school, moving to online learning. Not having the kid next to you to ask questions, or the girl you had a crush on to tutor you between classes. Imagine being locked in your home all day, with little to no social interaction. Imagine watching your parents struggle to adapt to working from home and work life balance, paranoid about losing their jobs that they've worked so hard their entire lives to get. Now imagine being an A/B student, suddenly falling behind at school, getting C's and D's because the online learning platform has failed them. Mentors you may have relied on in school, such as coaches, teachers and school counselors, all inaccessible. Social activities canceled, soccer practice, dance class, marching band, drama, art class, all canceled.

It's no wonder our children are struggling with depression and anxiety. They too have been told to follow this societal norm of go to school, get good grades, go to college… on and on. But for what!? To end up like their parents, burnt out, exhausted, unhealthy and in debt. And even if they wanted to continue down this path, the hole the pandemic has created feels monumental and impossible to crawl out of. I'm seeing 18yr olds, who should have graduated at 17th, frustrated to the point of wanting to check out of life, because they see no hope. They feel like failures, they have failed classes, they haven't been able to keep up and they don't realize that they are not alone. Being socially isolated. Every single one of these 19yr olds who are having an existential crisis, ready to go rogue or take their lives, has no idea that they are part of a national crisis created by the pandemic. They don't fully comprehend that what we are living through right now, is not the norm. They see the future being dim and impossible given the constraints they have been asked to live within.

Because of this, I'm seeing more and more teens seeking pathways away from standardized learning, desk jobs and the corporate world. Some are eager to remove themselves from the trauma that is high school and jump right into getting a GED. Not seeing the need for a traditional education when they have everything they ever need to know in their pocket, thank you to YouTube. Others are so terrified of the jail that is the 'home office' that they are actively looking for jobs that take them outside and provide the opportunity to do physical labor. Others are heart set on content creation or entrepreneurship. All of which are viable career paths!

This shift is not surprising. What is surprising is the response these teens are receiving from their parents and guardians. Many parents/guardians are in survival mode themselves. Aware of their teen's struggles but disconnected from the reality that they are living in. Having to have these stressful conversations can be devastating and emotional for all involved. Below are some helpful guidelines to make these talks more productive for both parties:

Set aside dedicated time in a neutral environment for the most effective conversation (This is not a conversation to have on the way home in the car, at the dinner table or when you're able to corner them into their room). Make it a fun activity, think of it as a get to know you session. Do things you would do if you were to go on a date, go for a walk, take an outing to get FroYo or Dutch Bros.
Start the conversation with: What do you want your life to look like? Do you want to travel, do you want a family, do you want to work 9-5 or do you want to work four tens? What kind of car do you want to drive? Where do you want to live? Let conversations develop as self-discovery and brainstorming sessions, using open ended questions and leaving space for reflection.
Put yourself in their shoes and vice versa. Examine your own motivations for wanting a different future for your child. Make a point to explain why you're so passionate about college, what benefits it's afforded you. Then listed as they rebuttal with their own thoughts. You might be surprised by their perspective.
Have both parties come prepared with research as needed? For example, if a teen is wanting to pursue their GED. Have they checked to see that it will qualify them for their future career choice? Compare timelines, finances and expectations based on solid data. This is most effective when the teen can be responsible for finding these answers and making their own choices with that information.
Let your child dream big. This is a time of self-discovery!You may learn something new from your child. Sometimes the best mirror we have is our offspring.
Keep in mind the true goal is to provide the tools needed to allow your teen to make good decisions and develop into an empowered, confident adult. Giving them the space to plan and explore a future path, even when it is different than what you expected, will help them develop a forward-thinking perspective that will serve them well throughout their life.

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How to Figure Out What You Want in Life (Without the Overwhelm)

By Alex Koupal • April 16, 2025

Let’s be real—figuring out what you actually want in life can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces missing. If you’re a busy mom juggling a million things or a twenty-something stuck in “what’s next?” mode, the pressure to have it all figured out is exhausting . But here’s the thing: You don’t need a five-year plan. You just need a starting point. 1. Stop Stressing About Having the "Right" Answer No one wakes up one day with a perfectly clear vision of their future. Life is messy, careers change, and passions evolve. Give yourself permission to explore instead of forcing yourself to commit to one path forever. Take the pressure off—it’s not that serious. 2. Follow What Feels Good What are you naturally drawn to? What do you find yourself Googling or watching a TikTok at 2 AM? Pay attention to the things that spark your interest—that’s where the magic starts. 3. Try Before You Decide You don’t have to quit your job or go back to school tomorrow. Test things out! Take a class, volunteer, start a side hustle—get a feel for what excites you before making big moves. 4. Talk to Real People I know, I know… talking to people can be awkward, but real opportunities don’t just knock on your door. Reach out to people who are doing something that interests you. Ask them how they got there. You’d be surprised how many are willing to share advice—and how much clarity you’ll gain just by listening. 5. Just Take the First Step The biggest thing holding people back? Overthinking. (Yep, shocking, I know.) Stop waiting for the perfect plan and just start —sign up for that workshop, send that email, go to that event. Clarity comes from doing , not from obsessing over every little detail. You don’t need all the answers today. Just take one small step and trust that you're figuring it out as you go. 6. Don’t Do It Alone Big decisions feel less overwhelming when you have someone in your corner. A mentor, coach, or even just a trusted friend can help you see things from a different perspective. If you’re feeling stuck, let’s talk! Book a clarity session —sometimes, all you need is a little guidance to get moving in the right direction.

Tiktok, Social Media & Teens: How to guide without just saying, "Get off your phone!"

By Alex Koupal • April 9, 2025

Let’s be real: telling teens to “get off your phone!” doesn’t work. Social media is part of their world. For our teens, social media is how they connect, learn, and express themselves. So how can we help them use it wisely without sounding and being the villain? There’s a way to help them navigate social media mindfully, and no, it doesn’t involve a complete ban. 1. Start the Conversation, Not the Battle Instead of becoming the enemy and banning social media out of the blue, talk to your teen about what they’re doing on it. Is it for learning, creativity, or just entertainment? Understanding their “why” helps guide them to use it more purposefully. 2. Set Healthy Boundaries Together Instead of enforcing rules, involve your teen in setting healthy screen-time limits. It gives them ownership and responsibility over their habits. For example, “I’ll spend 30 minutes scrolling up on TikTok after school, and then I’ll switch to doing homework” can be a much better strategy than enforcing a rigid rule that feels like punishment. When your teen has a say in the boundaries, they’re more likely to stick to them. 3. Be a Role Model What adults do, Teens do! If we’re glued to our phones, constantly checking social media, it sends the message that it’s okay to get lost in the digital world. Model healthy habits, like setting phone-free times, taking social media breaks, or just being present during family time. Show them how to use social media in a balanced way by setting phone-free times and modeling healthy habits. 4. Encourage Real-Life Activities Social media is great for staying in touch, but it can never replace real-life experiences. Encourage hobbies, sports, or family time to keep them grounded. This way, they can create a well-rounded life that isn’t centered solely around the screen. Plus, those real-world experiences will give them something to post about on their feed! 5. Be Their Guide, Not Their Warden At the end of the day, we can’t control everything teens do online. But we can provide guidance, support, and resources to help them use social media in a positive and mindful way. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage them to have trusted mentors—whether it’s a teacher, coach, older cousin, or life coach—who can provide advice beyond just Mom or Dad. If you’re worried about your teen’s social media habits, let’s talk! Book a free parent support session.