Creating New Holiday Traditions After Loss
Alimental Life • October 24, 2021
While many people will associate the upcoming holiday session with warm feelings and joy, there are many others that will come into this season with mixed emotions after having experienced a loss of a loved one.
One way to help cope with this loss is to create new traditions. New traditions are a wonderful way to really reflect on your loved one and continue their legacy. Below are 10 ideas for new holiday traditions to consider after a death:
- Favorite Dish or Desert - Make your loved ones favorite dish and name it after them. My father loved Banana Cream Pudding, and it was one of the only things he would eat the last days before his passing. I now make this every holiday and affectionately call it "Dad's Pudding".
- Tell Stories - Much like the traditions of Dia de los Muertos. It can be very comforting to share stories with others about the ones we've lost. It also helps keep those happy memories alive.
- Remembrance Décor - Buy or make a new piece of décor or an ornament that reminds you of your loved one. You could also make a small remembrance tree and place photos, personal affects, letters and other items on the tree in remembrance of your loved one.
- Set a Plate for Them - Add a plate to your table, to symbolize your loved one's presence. You could even pour them their favorite drink or make a plate for them the way they would have liked it.
- Moment of Silence - Take a moment of silence at your holiday gathering to remember the loved ones lost.
- Light a Candle - Buy a candle in remembrance of your loved one. It could be a pretty one you know they would have loved, a specific smell they liked, or a smell that reminds you of them. Light the candle anytime you want to include or remember them.
- Music - Play music during your holiday celebrations that remind you of your loved one. My dad loved to play Alabama's - Thistle Hair the Christmas Bear for my brother and I during Christmas time. After his passing, I've made it a point to add this song to my holiday playlist.
- Visit a Place They Liked to Visit - Did your loved one have a specific place they liked to go during the holidays, or a place they use to take you? Visit this place and take a moment to reconnect with your loved one while there.
- Favorite Tradition - If your loved one had a tradition that they loved to do, every year. Keep the tradition going. My aunt was a ballet dancer and dance teacher, participation in the local Nutcracker performance was a must, every year. As a child it was torturous, but I now look forward to watching the Nutcracker every December, and reflect on the memories of her and her impact on my childhood.
- Memory Box - Set up a memory box at the next holiday gathering. Decorate it with photos or images of the loved one. Set aside pens and paper for everyone to anonymously write down memories or things they want to share about their loved ones. Later take a moment to read the notes out loud or place in a remembrance book.
Let’s be real—figuring out what you actually want in life can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces missing. If you’re a busy mom juggling a million things or a twenty-something stuck in “what’s next?” mode, the pressure to have it all figured out is exhausting . But here’s the thing: You don’t need a five-year plan. You just need a starting point. 1. Stop Stressing About Having the "Right" Answer No one wakes up one day with a perfectly clear vision of their future. Life is messy, careers change, and passions evolve. Give yourself permission to explore instead of forcing yourself to commit to one path forever. Take the pressure off—it’s not that serious. 2. Follow What Feels Good What are you naturally drawn to? What do you find yourself Googling or watching a TikTok at 2 AM? Pay attention to the things that spark your interest—that’s where the magic starts. 3. Try Before You Decide You don’t have to quit your job or go back to school tomorrow. Test things out! Take a class, volunteer, start a side hustle—get a feel for what excites you before making big moves. 4. Talk to Real People I know, I know… talking to people can be awkward, but real opportunities don’t just knock on your door. Reach out to people who are doing something that interests you. Ask them how they got there. You’d be surprised how many are willing to share advice—and how much clarity you’ll gain just by listening. 5. Just Take the First Step The biggest thing holding people back? Overthinking. (Yep, shocking, I know.) Stop waiting for the perfect plan and just start —sign up for that workshop, send that email, go to that event. Clarity comes from doing , not from obsessing over every little detail. You don’t need all the answers today. Just take one small step and trust that you're figuring it out as you go. 6. Don’t Do It Alone Big decisions feel less overwhelming when you have someone in your corner. A mentor, coach, or even just a trusted friend can help you see things from a different perspective. If you’re feeling stuck, let’s talk! Book a clarity session —sometimes, all you need is a little guidance to get moving in the right direction.
Let’s be real: telling teens to “get off your phone!” doesn’t work. Social media is part of their world. For our teens, social media is how they connect, learn, and express themselves. So how can we help them use it wisely without sounding and being the villain? There’s a way to help them navigate social media mindfully, and no, it doesn’t involve a complete ban. 1. Start the Conversation, Not the Battle Instead of becoming the enemy and banning social media out of the blue, talk to your teen about what they’re doing on it. Is it for learning, creativity, or just entertainment? Understanding their “why” helps guide them to use it more purposefully. 2. Set Healthy Boundaries Together Instead of enforcing rules, involve your teen in setting healthy screen-time limits. It gives them ownership and responsibility over their habits. For example, “I’ll spend 30 minutes scrolling up on TikTok after school, and then I’ll switch to doing homework” can be a much better strategy than enforcing a rigid rule that feels like punishment. When your teen has a say in the boundaries, they’re more likely to stick to them. 3. Be a Role Model What adults do, Teens do! If we’re glued to our phones, constantly checking social media, it sends the message that it’s okay to get lost in the digital world. Model healthy habits, like setting phone-free times, taking social media breaks, or just being present during family time. Show them how to use social media in a balanced way by setting phone-free times and modeling healthy habits. 4. Encourage Real-Life Activities Social media is great for staying in touch, but it can never replace real-life experiences. Encourage hobbies, sports, or family time to keep them grounded. This way, they can create a well-rounded life that isn’t centered solely around the screen. Plus, those real-world experiences will give them something to post about on their feed! 5. Be Their Guide, Not Their Warden At the end of the day, we can’t control everything teens do online. But we can provide guidance, support, and resources to help them use social media in a positive and mindful way. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage them to have trusted mentors—whether it’s a teacher, coach, older cousin, or life coach—who can provide advice beyond just Mom or Dad. If you’re worried about your teen’s social media habits, let’s talk! Book a free parent support session.
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