If you want to know why they identify as they,…ask them! This is your chance to learn more about your grandchild and grow closer together. Try to keep an open mind and really hear what they are saying. You may have to change the way you were taught to think. For example, there is a clear distinction between anatomy, gender, pronouns and sexual orientation. While these four identifiers can be linked they don't necessarily need to be. 

Try not to pressure your grandchild into sharing their sexual orientation, this is non-related to pronouns or gender identity and it is for them to share with you when they are ready. Remember, gender identity is how someone sees, expresses and understands their own self, and it can evolve and change with the individual as they change! Allow your grandchild to explore this fluidity as they establish their own identity.

The conversation doesn’t have to be had in one sitting. Creating an ongoing open dialogue around this topic might open communication and insight across generations. Allowing the both of you to find common ground and respect for each other's beliefs and understandings. You might be surprised by what you learn from them!

If you are having difficulty starting this conversation or need some guidance on how to approach them, please feel free to reach out.